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*unexpected gloom*
May. 8th, 2008 12:14 am*CRACKS UP AT HER GIP* (again, thank you SO much for sharing it with me, ![[livejournal.com profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/external/lj-userinfo.gif)
lunadeath02. You're a total sweetheart <3).
I had a wonderful time withangeliksmall on the phone tonight, but my mood changed quickly when I found old MSN chats saved and long forgotten and had the amazingly bad idea to read them.
As a result, I'm now brooding over two lost friendships that were dear to me. One that ended badly almost 2 years ago, the other a few months back.
I don't know... I try thinking about the bad sides of both relationships but with time the good memories come rushing back as well and it hurts to not have it anymore.
Right now I just want to not think and make contact again, on a whim. I know that's because I've just been remembered of the good times.
It probably would only succeed to make me hate myself in the morning because I think the first one is too long lost to do anything about it now, and the second... Well it's still recent but since there's been no sign from the other side, I'm pretty sure to be the only one to have not moved on. And I promised myself to not make the first step because, from the way it ended, it wasn't mine to make. But right now I just don't care because I miss her, I miss both of them.
I tried calling a friend so she could talk me out of it but I got no answer, so I'm writing this to exorcise it.
I feel depressed once every 5 years but when it hits, it hits hard.
EDIT : sorry flist for being all emo tonight, I'm surprised too *guilt*. Fortunately, I might be good for the next five years after that :)
lunadeath02. You're a total sweetheart <3). I had a wonderful time with
angeliksmall on the phone tonight, but my mood changed quickly when I found old MSN chats saved and long forgotten and had the amazingly bad idea to read them.As a result, I'm now brooding over two lost friendships that were dear to me. One that ended badly almost 2 years ago, the other a few months back.
I don't know... I try thinking about the bad sides of both relationships but with time the good memories come rushing back as well and it hurts to not have it anymore.
Right now I just want to not think and make contact again, on a whim. I know that's because I've just been remembered of the good times.
It probably would only succeed to make me hate myself in the morning because I think the first one is too long lost to do anything about it now, and the second... Well it's still recent but since there's been no sign from the other side, I'm pretty sure to be the only one to have not moved on. And I promised myself to not make the first step because, from the way it ended, it wasn't mine to make. But right now I just don't care because I miss her, I miss both of them.
I tried calling a friend so she could talk me out of it but I got no answer, so I'm writing this to exorcise it.
I feel depressed once every 5 years but when it hits, it hits hard.
EDIT : sorry flist for being all emo tonight, I'm surprised too *guilt*. Fortunately, I might be good for the next five years after that :)
